How to Cope with Trauma This Festive Season
The holidays can be magical, but for many people, they bring up old wounds and painful memories. If you’re navigating trauma, the festive season can be challenging. From family gatherings that bring up old triggers to the stress of societal expectations, it’s totally normal if you’re not feeling the "holiday cheer." Here are some ways to support yourself through the season with love, compassion, and a little bit of grace.
Honour Your Feelings—Whatever They Are
Let’s get one thing straight: it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. You don’t have to fake happiness or pretend everything is perfect. If you’re feeling anxious, sad, or frustrated, honour those emotions. The more you resist them, the stronger they get. Instead, try to acknowledge them as part of your experience—this is all about giving yourself permission to just be, without guilt or judgment.
Set Boundaries that Protect Your Peace
Boundaries are your best friend, especially during the holidays. If there are family members or situations that feel overwhelming or triggering, it’s okay to say no, limit your time, or even make an early exit. Protecting your peace is essential. Remember, boundaries are not about pushing people away; they’re about honouring what you need to feel safe and comfortable.
Maybe that means declining certain invitations or letting loved ones know ahead of time that you might need a break during gatherings. Whatever it looks like, give yourself permission to prioritise your well-being.
Find Your Go-To Self-Soothing Tools
When things get intense, having a few self-soothing techniques in your toolkit can make a big difference. This could be deep breathing exercises, a grounding meditation, or even stepping outside for a few moments. A quick breathwork session can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, calming that “fight-or-flight” response and grounding you in the moment.
If you’re unsure where to start, head to by blog post Breathwork for Anxiety.
Be Mindful of Old Triggers
The festive season often brings up interactions or memories that can trigger old wounds. Be mindful of what those triggers are for you so that you can be prepared. If you know that certain conversations, people, or settings are likely to stir things up, go in with a plan to manage them.
Remind yourself that these reactions are rooted in past trauma and don’t define you or your worth. Acknowledge the trigger, give yourself a moment to breathe, and gently bring yourself back to the present.
Stay Connected with Your Support System
Whether it’s friends, family members, or a therapist, lean on those you trust. Letting someone in on how you’re feeling, even just a little bit, can be incredibly freeing. Sometimes a quick check-in or a text exchange can remind you that you’re not alone.
If family dynamics make it hard to get support during the holidays, consider scheduling a session with a therapist or joining an online support group. Staying connected, even virtually, can be a lifeline. And remember that friends are family too.
Give Yourself Space to Step Away
If things get too intense, give yourself permission to step away. Go for a walk, find a quiet space, or even just step outside and breathe. Taking a break doesn’t make you weak; it means you’re taking care of yourself. This is especially helpful if you’re surrounded by people who may not fully understand your experience or respect your boundaries.
Remember, it’s okay to be your own ally. Taking a step back allows you to regroup and recharge, so you can re-engage with a calmer mind.
Find Small Moments of Joy
While the holiday season might feel heavy, try to find small, genuine moments of joy just for yourself. This could be cosying up with a favourite book, doing some baking, or watching a holiday movie that makes you laugh. These little moments of joy can help balance out the stress and bring a sense of lightness into your day.
Give yourself permission to celebrate the season in ways that feel good to you, even if they’re quiet or unconventional.
Embrace Not Having Expectations
The holidays come with so many expectations about what they “should” look like. Let go of the pressure to make things perfect. If you’re navigating trauma, getting through the holidays in one piece is an accomplishment in itself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to set your own standards and create a holiday experience that feels safe, comfortable, and true to you.
Plan an Exit Strategy (If You Need One)
If you’re attending gatherings where things might get tricky, have an exit strategy in place. Plan to drive yourself so you can leave whenever you need to, or have a friend you can call if you need an excuse to step out. Knowing you have an out can make the whole experience feel a bit less intense.
Be Kind to Yourself
Remember that healing is not a linear journey, and the holidays may stir up emotions or memories you thought you’d moved past. Be kind to yourself. If you feel drained or overwhelmed, give yourself extra rest, nourishment, and self-care. This season, more than anything, is about honouring where you are and what you need.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If the holidays are stirring up too much to handle on your own, please know that there’s help and support out there. Reach out for a session, whether it’s to work through specific feelings, address trauma, or simply to feel more grounded. This season can be tough, but you don’t have to face it alone. Healing is a journey, and you’re allowed to take it at your own pace. You deserve to feel safe, whole, and free.